


Reflection

by anactualforrealadult



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, and then someday he'll die, and therapy, he's just gonna keep all his worries right here, we stan one disaster boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anactualforrealadult/pseuds/anactualforrealadult
Summary: Zuko doesn't want to see his father's face in the mirror, he sees enough of it in his nightmares.  But maybe he didn't have to be so afraid after all...
Comments: 8
Kudos: 72





	Reflection

Sometime in his early twenties, Zuko starts avoiding mirrors. His staff will point out when he has gotten ink or other substances on his face, and he doesn’t particularly need a mirror in the morning to brush his growing hair into a low ponytail. He takes advantage of palace staff to help him if he needs a more elaborate hairstyle, which he usually doesn’t. It’s a bit irrational, he knows, but he’s becoming scared of what he might find in his reflection.

On a visit to the South Pole, several men had been commenting on how Sokka was looking more and more like Hakoda every day. It was true, and Zuko knew it was a complement that Sokka treasured, but it caused the Fire Lord to contemplate the implications of growing older. He knew he would never look exactly like Ozai thanks the “gift” his father had given him years ago, but he was sure that the man’s face would still be there under the scar. So, to avoid the possibility of facing his father in the mornings, he simply avoided his reflection. This was working out pretty well for him, until his council decided that Zuko would need to sit for his formal royal portrait.

The painting had been delayed for many reasons, and not all of them were due to Zuko’s desire to avoid his own face. Unfortunately, he couldn’t run from it any longer, and was forced to sit for the court painter over the course of the next few weeks. He declined to see the work in progress, and had only instructed the artist to not avoid any imperfections. Mainly, his scar. As much as it was a painful reminder, he’d had it nearly as long as he hadn’t, and it was a part of the nations history he didn’t want painted over (pun intended).

So he spent the weeks trying not to fidget while staring into space, doing his best to think Royal Thoughts that would hopefully transfer to his face and posture. When the portrait was finished, he hoped that he could simply avoid looking at it in the hall where it would be hung, but apparently there was going to be a ceremonial unveiling and he was required to attend. Because somehow he couldn’t get out of being at a ceremony that was about him.

The night before the unveiling, Zuko snuck into the hall where the painting was being kept. Unable to sleep, he had gotten up the nerve to just go look at the portrait. If he was going to feel some way about it, it was probably best he do it without an audience. Steeling his nerves, he pulled away the cloth to reveal…

Huh.

A face he barely recognized.

He was sure it was his, it had his scar and his eyes, but the rest of it was…unfamiliar. Looking closer, he could see some resemblance to the one he recognized from his teenage and childhood years, but it was certainly not the face that Zuko had expected to see. Ozai’s painting had been taken down years ago, but Zuko saw enough of the man in his nightmares to know that the face before him looked nothing like it.

Perhaps the court painter had decided to take some liberties, he supposed. An effort to distance the current Fire Lord from his predecessor. That had to be it, there was no way that Zuko actually looked like this. To confirm his theory, he went to a nearby restroom and looked at himself for the first time in years. And just as he thought, the face in the mirror was…

Exactly the same as the one in the painting.

Huh.

Zuko traced the lines of his face in the mirror, taking in new curves and edges. He had lost what little babyfat he had kept from his teenage years, and there was a day’s old stubble on his chin that his younger self would have killed for. The painter had taken no liberties, he really was a full man. And not a hint of Ozai on his face.

He supposed he should be grateful, knowing he could now shave independently (he had always given the royal groomers excuses as to why he couldn’t do it himself) without being afraid to see his abuser’s face in the mirror, but it was still strange. He scrutinized the face in the mirror further. Many of his features mirrored his mother’s, and he could even see some resemblance to Aang’s previous life if he squinted. People had said he looked like his father when he was younger, but then again all children look a little bit the same, especially in the Fire Nation. Black hair, golden eyes, and pale skin? You probably look like someone’s kid.

Finally leaving the restroom, Zuko went to take one last look at his portrait before placing the cloth back over it. He had to remember to praise the painter the next time he saw them. There was no mistaking that the face was his, and he supposed it was a face he could live with.

When the painting was officially revealed the next day, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud. A true man was leading the nation now, and there was proof for generations to come. And maybe they were doing it to avoid speaking of the past, but not one person said he looked like his father. Agni had given him yet another blessing, and he felt himself walk a little taller during the reception, a little more sure of himself. Therapy had given him back some of the self-esteem he had lost as a child, but there are some things he just had to experience in order to begin feeling comfortable in his skin again. And being able to confidently look at himself in the mirror was one of them.

Ursa also came to the unveiling. She didn’t say so to anyone else, but it was amazing how much Zuko looked like his father. And for that, she was grateful. Her son didn’t need to spend his life looking like the man who gave him his scar. She just hoped that there was also enough of her in that face to keep people from asking questions.

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll can fight me  
> Canon whomst  
> Ursa is Jan from The Office, telling the world "If I was 22 and I had lots of time to have lots of children, then sure, let's let Ozai have a shot a one of em', but honestly, I need to make this one count. *Stares directly into the camera*"  
> And like hell Ozai was gonna get genetic rights to her first born.  
> He could have Azula  
> Also yes it is 2:30 am ya'll can fight me on that too


End file.
